hi everyone. i feel as though i should 'whisper' since it's bedtime now and peter is sweetly sleeping nearby. i tried going to bed but just couldn't let my mind rest. too many things running through my brain so i thought i'd get up and blog about it. as soon as my head hit the pillow i just kept thinking of my to-do lists of all we need to do before moving in to our new apartment. my brain feels overwhelmed with storing all of these dates, appointments, forms, procedures, and on and on, sometimes i think it might just suddenly shut down. i feel myself getting too anxious about all of the change that is happening. we love the new things sprouting up in our lives, but with change comes, well, change.
i love being here in korea and so does peter. i mean, you should see the glow on peter's face as he takes a bite of korean street food (anthony bourdain would hire him). he's so happy here. everyday i look around and i feel like i need to pinch myself. i look around at all of these koreans and think, "no, no, sarah, you're not at your parent's church anymore. you're in korea now and not everyone here knows your mom and dad either." there's this familiarity of what's around me--the culture that is within me that has always been woven throughout my being, yet sometimes i feel so distant from certain aspects of the country/culture. i suppose this whole switch from being a korean in america and now being an american in korea will have some getting used to.
Being surrounded by all of these new experiences, hand in hand with my dear peter, is a total rush of exhilaration and fear at the same time. like having an ice cold wave crash all over your body. my body needs some time in the water before it feels comfortable to leisurely swim. (all of this change makes me also consider what it was like for Jesus to come to earth. how strange that must have been! )
i don't think i could survive without the constant thought of how dearly i am loved by my Creator. This experience will be challenging in many ways and I am SO thankful for God's presence-- He never leaves me. What a wonderful Father He is!! what a comfort.
Just typing those very words puts my heart at ease. I think i ought to go to sleep now. I think i hear peter stirring in bed... goodnight!
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i'm so glad you guys are enjoying korea and that it's bigger than your parents' church! :)
ReplyDeletelove you and miss you!
I was wondering when this would hit for you, the reality of the move, the reality of the culture familiarity/shock. I'm glad you and Peter have each other there and you have family there, here and all over who are praying for you and supporting you near and far.
ReplyDeleteI love you guys
susan
thanks, sarah, for your thoughtful notes about the culture switch. It must be deeply comforting to be in the majority ethnically for a change. The problem with growing up as a cultural/racial majority is that you assume, unless carefully contradicted by your parents and teachers, the right to "rule". Children are naturally xenophobic, not to hurt others, but because their "tribe" is their identity and a natural 'us' vs. 'them' occurs.
ReplyDeleteIn my own case, the 'rule' thing was aggravated by the theme of secrecy that affects alcoholic families. Lil cultivated a kind of "we are the Watts" attitude, mostly for fun, but the unspoken inference was:"and who could you[outsider] possibly be?"!
Well, you're already burning up Christmas Eve over there, so I better get this off. We'll be off to GM and GF as usual tomorrow, and missing you terribly. dash