I might leave my heart in Korea...

I love Korea....

Three and a half years ago Peter desperately tried to convince me that moving to Korea was a good idea.  Being Korean American, the thought of reconciling my cultural identities was overwhelming.  I thought going to Korea would only make me feel even more disconnected to my heritage.  And, it did---at first.  I didn't know where I belonged.  I was caught in this weird in-between place of feeling like my feet were dangling between two different worlds.  The Korea that I knew was what I grew up with in my St. Louis home--Konglish, dwenjang jigae and my parents' stories about the land of their birth.  Moving to Korea myself was like drinking a glass of vodka straight up....no juice or ice to dilute the experience.  It burned at first, but I learned so much.

It made me really grateful for my country and helped me understand who I am as a Korean American and be proud of that.  Instead of thinking I had to jump from culture to culture, I learned how to embrace both.  In the past, I felt I would put on my "Koreanness" when I went to visit family or had to talk to my relatives over the phone in my broken Korean.  When I hung up the phone I could return to my American-Suburbia life.  Now I feel as though my Korean and American heritage collide and mix together.  Korea runs through my veins now--I feel it pulsing through me as if it's a part of me that's been nurtured back to life.  Something I always had inside of me, but I didn't know how to engage it. 

I am a product of both cultures.  My parents came to America around the same age that Peter and I were when we moved to Korea.  It was crazy to have the reverse experience of what it's like to move to a foreign country on your own.  I have to give my parents a standing ovation in gratitude and sheer amazement for accomplishing that.  We had many bits of assistance along our journey here in Korea and they had few.  I am so grateful to them both for sacrificing so much for us.

So all this random typing is all to say that Korea has become my home.  It is no longer my parent's birth place, but it is my country.  My father would always say, "In my country..." when telling us stories about his childhood and whatnot.  Well, Dad, now you need to say, "our country" because I feel like Korea is just as much mine now as it is yours.